Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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