Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
