i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
