My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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