There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
