Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
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As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
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I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.