Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
