I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
