Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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