Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I hate all girls vehemently.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
