i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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