What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
