My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
