East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
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