I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
