Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
