btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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