so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
