You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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