btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
