hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
