I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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