The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
