At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
