Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
