She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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