Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
