can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
