I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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