I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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