I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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