I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
