Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Randomize
