We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
