went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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