So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
