i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
