Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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