I must be too annoying 4 u.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
