He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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