Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
