Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Let's get the cat blown out
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
