why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Someone shattered a urinal.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
