Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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