Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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