Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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