I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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