you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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