question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
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