I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
