Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
