best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize