And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
