Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize