I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
