my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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