problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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