In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
can u get pink eye on your cock?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
