You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
