We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
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