you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize